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What's this book about?

Fighting my way to the NHL. Losing it all. A sexual journey. Potent drugs and visions. A spirit quest. My life. A savage f*cking story.


A raw, shocking glimpse of the sexuality and secret life of a hockey player with a destiny to chase and a dream to play in the NHL.

With bare knuckles and guts on display, he’s fighting his way to the top. But there is turmoil, confusion, addiction, and brokenness inside. There are secrets waiting to come out. And there is fear. He’s searching for his identity. To find out who he really is—sexually, athletically, spiritually, everything. Experience the climb up the hockey ladder and the search for meaning, for identity, for redemption, for glory.

This savage memoir takes the reader on an epic journey from boyhood to manhood of a hockey fighter, as seen through four lenses: sex, drugs, pucks, and souls. It’s the story behind the story of a man fighting his way to the NHL.

And then the fall.



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a big thank you!!!

I just wanted to say thank you for supporting me and my savage memoir. I started my own publishing company, Rotterdam Books, and we print my books and sell directly to you, the reader. I think that's a pretty cool thing. It's as pure as it gets.

I lived it, I captured it, I produced a book, and I send it directly to you. No middleman, no gatekeepers, no filters, no BS.

Just a savage story, from me to you.

highlight reel

Real fighting, bare knuckles, bone on bone—shows you who you really are. No room for anything but truth and certainty when throwing bones at an opponent and getting bones thrown back at you. The only things present are lightning-fast twitching reactions of muscles and tendons. They begin as electrical impulses of sparks from somewhere deep inside you. Their only reason for existing is to keep you alive.


About The AUthor

BOBBY ROBINS is a retired professional ice hockey player and oldest rookie to ever make an NHL Opening Day Roster at age 32 with the Boston Bruins. His perseverance through 500 games in the minor-leagues and 132 pro hockey fights finally paid off in 2014 when he took the ice as the Boston Bruins’ new enforcer.

Robins earned his Bachelor of Arts Degree in English Creative Writing from the University of Massachusetts Lowell, where he served as Captain for the NCAA Division 1 River Hawks. He embarked on his professional career in 2006, signing an NHL Contract with the Ottawa Senators.

A two-time AHL Man of the Year award winner, member of the Providence Bruins All-Time Team, and fan-favorite wherever he played, Robins retired from professional hockey in 2015.

Robins is married to Samantha, and together they have three amazing children and two Long-haired Chihuahuas named Princess and Dazey.

SEX DRUGS PUCKS AND SOULS is his first book.